Wedding and Event News…. the blog

Do they really exist – yes! – and they are not becoming extinct.

I have sat in several meetings with clients and their mothers were there for support, minimal guidance, or to sign the check. Then there are other situations, in which the mothers will not let their daughters speak, become too opinionated, expresses blatant disregard to their daughter desires, and really become confused as to whose wedding they are planning. It becomes a daunting task to remain neutral. Recently, I have had brides call me in tears because their mother has made harsh comments or threats. We have met with brides to plan out the décor – without mom – to only have it shot down once the descriptive proposal are received. I even had a bride call off her elaborate platinum wedding and elope – to avoid from dealing with her mother. Unnecessary!!!

Advice for the mothers:

1. Your relationship with your daughter is something you do not want to risk – they will eventually resent you – the wedding is one day so let them enjoy it

2. Learn to compromise – shooting down every decision your daughter makes basically tells her that you don’t care for her opinion – you should because it is her wedding

3. Don’t use your checkbook as a bribe – either you go with this or I am not paying for it – WRONG!

Tips for Brides and Grooms:

1. Set boundaries – if mom knows that she can get away with it, she will

2. Learn to compromise – when she disagrees with your selection – ask probing questions to find out why and see if a happy median can be met.

3. Put your foot down – don’t let her win at the mind games – give her a hug and kiss to let her know her opinion is appreciated but that it is YOUR wedding.

Now, it is easy for me to give this advice because my parents were fabulous when I planned my wedding. They just signed the checks and made sure a few of their pals were on the guest list. They could care less about the specifics! J